Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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