wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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