Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize