I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize