Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Randomize