please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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