i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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