not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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