May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
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Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
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We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
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