He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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