WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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