He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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