I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
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I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
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It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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