It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
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