My sheets look like a crime scene.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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