i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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