walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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