K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize