All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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