So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I just got carded by a ten year old.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize