She said her name was "party"
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
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There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
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Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
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