The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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