Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
You ruined the universe
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize