my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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