I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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