how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
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I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
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I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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