Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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