If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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