i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
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