I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize