Pregnant stripper...not hot.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize