maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
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He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
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