i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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