Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
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I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
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i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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