we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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