Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
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You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
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