I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I can text with my tongue
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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