rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I will be naked everywhere
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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