I'm eating all of the evidence.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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