I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
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