She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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