real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Randomize