Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
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This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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