did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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