im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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