Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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