Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize