How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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