Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize