addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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